As a parent, I know only too well the sting of regret, and living the painful consequences of my selfish choices. There is no doubt I made mistakes as a parent, and it is being a parent that has allowed me to understand and forgive my own parent's mistakes. I wrote this poem for someone close to me who was struggling with parental relationships as an adult. Even though this poem is for her, it speaks to me as well. How often have I wanted to hold onto pain and hurt and blame my parents for my condition and choices today? Way too often. I realize, as I did many years ago, that my parents are to be honored, which means, I forgive them. Because, after all, nobody's perfect!
True Oneness
Gripped by the world at a very young age
unsure of what to expect, often filled with rage.
Unable to love those who were supposed to love you
but longing for that bond that must be shared, you knew;
that other people out there have a normal life.
Why can’t you have it, too, instead of this strife?
With envy, you saw families with a love simple and strong.
All you ever really wanted was a place like this to belong.
To feel out of control of this life that you didn’t choose
is an overwhelming truth that many would like to refuse.
To be born into a family filled with anger and pride
seems senseless as you live only wanting to hide.
For God did not plan for you to be destroyed
by your parents’ human mistakes that constantly annoyed.
Holding a grudge and unforgiving of their failure to protect
only destroys your heart and soul and your life is the one wrecked.
God’s love is perfect for you and all people that you see
including your parents, for them God has eternal mercy.
Choosing to love our God, you must perfectly love as He does.
Forgiving with unending mercy, kindness and patience because
Love is not jealous or pompous or inflated.
It is not rude or forces its own interests debated.
It does not brood over injury or quick to temper.
Love rejoices in the truth and rejects the wrongs that hinder.
With God, who is Love, we can bear all things.
Even our pasts hurts that in your soul still deeply stings.
Believe in Love because Love believes in all
and the Hope in the Love of Christ will pick us up when we fall.
Enduring everything that this life does bring
can only have value when in God’s Glory we sing.
For God’s love never fails, always it will remain.
And we’ll know it completely if we choose freedom instead of pain.
Let go and forgive, letting God lead the way.
Knowing love will fill us up and the hate will fade away.
Faith, Hope, and Love are found in the Spirit, Father, and Son
Becoming perfect only in Him, true oneness, Love will be done.
With Love, Kristin
11/12/01
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Truth About The Invention of Lying
It's only my opinion, and I'm going to share it. The movie The Invention of Lying is a disgrace to truth. And even though it received great reviews as the funniest movie out there right now, if you decide you want to see this movie because it looks funny, you may be disappointed, as was I. Not surprisingly, The Invention of Lying promotes the "truth" that beautiful people are the only ones worthy of life. Everyone else are losers, and that term is used often throughout the 2 hour film, and one I simply do not accept as truth.
Still, it's only my opinion, but I think the truth is all people have worth, no one is a loser, and how dare the egotistical attitude of Hollywood be declared as truth. The cultural belief that only beautiful people are important and special is a lie parents and teachers have been trying to expose for years for the sake of their children. We know how devastating it is to be told your not good enough, and to have a current movie tout intimidation and bullying as the portrait of an honest society is contemptuous.
This movie promotes the lie of arrogance, and suggests that what arrogant people believe is true. The arrogant belief depicted in The Invention of Lying blatantly presents beautiful people as the only ones capable of achieving greatness and everyone else is doomed to a life of mediocrity and failure. They believe only those who are thin and beautiful are deserving of having all the good things in life.
This is the distorted truth the fictitious society who is unable to speak lies believes. The characters in the movie talk openly about personal topics which should be kept quiet, they run people down, and they portray suicide and homelessness as if its the only thing losers have to hope for in life. The made up "society of truth" depicted in this movie is a sad realization of the realty of lies this world promotes as truth. And in turn, the movie made the truth of God a lie.
The main character is the only person who can "lie" in this "honest" society, so he makes up a god and heaven to help his dying mother find peace in her final moments. Even though this "lie" about an afterlife brought joy and hope to the people, he felt compelled to tell the "truth" that he "lied" about the man in the sky. Some might say this is the irony that is part of the dark humor of the movie, but I say it speaks a truth we all need to ask ourselves. Are we really so confused about truth and lies that we don't even know the truth anymore?
In this society of lies, there is but one truth that stands the test of time, that endures the ridicule with patient humility, that extinguishes scrutiny, and reverses judgment. There is but one Way, one Life, and one Truth and His name is Jesus Christ.
If you are a Christian, I recommend not seeing this movie due to it's anti-God and anti-Christian message. If you do not follow Jesus, you still may find this movie offensive due to it's attack on human life and dignity, so I recommend choosing to do something else with your time and money. As I said before, this is only my opinion, so please feel free to take it or leave it.
Still, it's only my opinion, but I think the truth is all people have worth, no one is a loser, and how dare the egotistical attitude of Hollywood be declared as truth. The cultural belief that only beautiful people are important and special is a lie parents and teachers have been trying to expose for years for the sake of their children. We know how devastating it is to be told your not good enough, and to have a current movie tout intimidation and bullying as the portrait of an honest society is contemptuous.
This movie promotes the lie of arrogance, and suggests that what arrogant people believe is true. The arrogant belief depicted in The Invention of Lying blatantly presents beautiful people as the only ones capable of achieving greatness and everyone else is doomed to a life of mediocrity and failure. They believe only those who are thin and beautiful are deserving of having all the good things in life.
This is the distorted truth the fictitious society who is unable to speak lies believes. The characters in the movie talk openly about personal topics which should be kept quiet, they run people down, and they portray suicide and homelessness as if its the only thing losers have to hope for in life. The made up "society of truth" depicted in this movie is a sad realization of the realty of lies this world promotes as truth. And in turn, the movie made the truth of God a lie.
The main character is the only person who can "lie" in this "honest" society, so he makes up a god and heaven to help his dying mother find peace in her final moments. Even though this "lie" about an afterlife brought joy and hope to the people, he felt compelled to tell the "truth" that he "lied" about the man in the sky. Some might say this is the irony that is part of the dark humor of the movie, but I say it speaks a truth we all need to ask ourselves. Are we really so confused about truth and lies that we don't even know the truth anymore?
In this society of lies, there is but one truth that stands the test of time, that endures the ridicule with patient humility, that extinguishes scrutiny, and reverses judgment. There is but one Way, one Life, and one Truth and His name is Jesus Christ.
If you are a Christian, I recommend not seeing this movie due to it's anti-God and anti-Christian message. If you do not follow Jesus, you still may find this movie offensive due to it's attack on human life and dignity, so I recommend choosing to do something else with your time and money. As I said before, this is only my opinion, so please feel free to take it or leave it.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The Path is Narrow
Jesus tells us the path to heaven is a difficult one, and He told us the truth. It is difficult to be righteous, faithful, and charitable. To be good is hard, to be bad is a path much easier to travel, but much more lonely. When we travel the wide and easy path, there may be many people around us, but we are wrapped up in our own issues, our own problems, so there is no encouragement, only despair. The wide path has many people, but little love. It has many imagined benefits, but little comfort.
The narrow path is the path home, and even though it often seems impossible to resist the temptations of this world, righteous living is a blessing to everyone. I desire the strength to conquer the evil in me, but I continue to give into this notion that my flesh is stronger than my spirit.
It is possible to follow the narrow path, but it cannot be done alone. I need the Church for encouragement and the Spirit for wisdom and self-control. And ultimately, I need Jesus, only His mercy can heal me. It is the divine mercy of my Lord that leads me to the narrow path, with a willingness to carry my cross, to lay down my life for the promise of eternal life. I cannot find the way home, alone, so I follow Jesus.
Look
Look at me, look at me
So trampled and beaten
Undeniably ugly
Look at me freakin’.
I can never be satisfied
Always, it seems too hard.
When my pain is amplified
For my life, I have little regard.
As the trials that test
I constantly fail
The same is my best
Living like Christ, I pale.
I can never reach
This perfect standard
Still I’ll preach
His death remembered
If only I could suffer
As He did for me
Living is always tougher
In this world without thee.
Even in my sin
I know it could be worse
Doing all I can
On earth, is all a curse?
Perfection is my goal
My life is the race
Everlasting life for my soul
My hope is to see God’s face.
With Christ Love,
Kristin
9/25/2001
The narrow path is the path home, and even though it often seems impossible to resist the temptations of this world, righteous living is a blessing to everyone. I desire the strength to conquer the evil in me, but I continue to give into this notion that my flesh is stronger than my spirit.
It is possible to follow the narrow path, but it cannot be done alone. I need the Church for encouragement and the Spirit for wisdom and self-control. And ultimately, I need Jesus, only His mercy can heal me. It is the divine mercy of my Lord that leads me to the narrow path, with a willingness to carry my cross, to lay down my life for the promise of eternal life. I cannot find the way home, alone, so I follow Jesus.
Look
Look at me, look at me
So trampled and beaten
Undeniably ugly
Look at me freakin’.
I can never be satisfied
Always, it seems too hard.
When my pain is amplified
For my life, I have little regard.
As the trials that test
I constantly fail
The same is my best
Living like Christ, I pale.
I can never reach
This perfect standard
Still I’ll preach
His death remembered
If only I could suffer
As He did for me
Living is always tougher
In this world without thee.
Even in my sin
I know it could be worse
Doing all I can
On earth, is all a curse?
Perfection is my goal
My life is the race
Everlasting life for my soul
My hope is to see God’s face.
With Christ Love,
Kristin
9/25/2001
Monday, October 12, 2009
It's Hard to Say I'm Sorry
How Do I Say, "I'm Sorry?"
How do I say, "I'm Sorry?"
When the hurt runs so deep
When my words don't make
a difference
When all I can do is weep?
How do I say, "I'm Sorry?"
When the one I've hurt is gone
When there's no way of
telling you
When I offended you I was wrong?
How do I say, "I'm Sorry?"
When I, too, hurt inside
when we both hold onto
senseless pride
when all we choose to do is hide?
How do I say, "I'm Sorry?"
when you really don't care
when I'm sorry really doesn't
change things
when life really doesn't seem fair?
I have accepted the fact
That all I can do
Is say I’m sorry to My Lord
Instead of you.
And know He has forgiven me
In spite of all I've done.
For He is true Mercy
And His Love will make us One.
Love in Christ,
Kristin A
August 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
How to Have Hope in a World of Despair
I have been in the pit, and it is dark, cold, and lonely. It is a place of utter hopelessness, sorrow, and despair. I suffer depression and anxiety. It has directly impacted my relationships with others, and with God. With others, I either drive them away or they stay and love me patiently. With God, I have drawn closer to Him.
Because of my intense physical weakness to control my sorrow and anger, I must depend on the Lord to help me overcome my dark emotions, to overcome the depression and know that His joy will return. I know what it is like to be in the hell of despair, but I also know what it is like to be in the Kingdom of hope.
I have talked with my doctor for years about my severe PMS, the depression and anger that rises in me, uncontrollable, for a week or more each month. My doctor's answer was always medication, which I tried, but always stopped taking because I often suffered the side effects. I finally decided, after years of suffering misery and often hurting those I love with my biting remarks, to depend on God for not only my spiritual healing, but my physical and mental healing, too.
For the past 3 years, I have had months go by symptom free, and I contribute this healing to my faith. I tried all the anti-depression and anti-anxiety medications, which either didn't work for me or knocked me out. From what I see on commercials, the medications don't work for 2 out of 3 people using them so they need to add another medicine, which has suicide as one of its rare side effects. Instead of adding another medicine, why not try adding more God to your life first, and be surprised by the blessings He brings.
I would like to share the steps I follow to have hope in my world of depression.
Because of my intense physical weakness to control my sorrow and anger, I must depend on the Lord to help me overcome my dark emotions, to overcome the depression and know that His joy will return. I know what it is like to be in the hell of despair, but I also know what it is like to be in the Kingdom of hope.
I have talked with my doctor for years about my severe PMS, the depression and anger that rises in me, uncontrollable, for a week or more each month. My doctor's answer was always medication, which I tried, but always stopped taking because I often suffered the side effects. I finally decided, after years of suffering misery and often hurting those I love with my biting remarks, to depend on God for not only my spiritual healing, but my physical and mental healing, too.
For the past 3 years, I have had months go by symptom free, and I contribute this healing to my faith. I tried all the anti-depression and anti-anxiety medications, which either didn't work for me or knocked me out. From what I see on commercials, the medications don't work for 2 out of 3 people using them so they need to add another medicine, which has suicide as one of its rare side effects. Instead of adding another medicine, why not try adding more God to your life first, and be surprised by the blessings He brings.
I would like to share the steps I follow to have hope in my world of depression.
- Pray, pray, and pray some more. I encourage you to seek the One who brings healing, because we must find forgiveness in order to beat depression.
- Reconcile, with others and with yourself. But most importantly, reconcile with God . I discovered through prayer to the Trinity, Mass, and the sacrament of Reconciliation that I am worthy because I am loved. I know the love and mercy of His Son, Jesus, so I know the sorrow will end, but I also know the sorrow is necessary for my personal and spiritual growth.
- Embrace the tears. I cry for my children, or students, or people suffering in natural disasters. I have learned through prayer that my tears have meaning when I offer them up as a sacrifice. When I weep for others and offer my tears to the Lord, He blesses me with peace.
- Allow yourself to be angry at the injustice of it all. It's okay to accept the anger we feel because the world is unfair. Through prayer and scripture I am reminded that God is angry about the sin of the world, too. So, I am moved to make the world a better place by choosing to love, which means my anger must turn into a thirst and a hunger for justice, which only the Lord can fulfill. Be angry about injustice, but remember to reconcile that anger before going to bed by putting your trust in God.
- Accept your negative emotions and let the Lord make them good. In our weaknesses, the Lord is strong. By accepting and loving the part of me that is dark, and the parts of me I don't like, I am blessed. Jesus shows me the beauty of my tears when I give them to Him. The Father is pleased with my anger of the injustice of poverty and death. And the Spirit gives me courage to overcome my fears which builds in me the virtues of goodness.
- Follow these five steps to help you find hope in a world of despair. It is what I depend on for healing, and slowly but surely, my depression is disappearing. I hope and pray my suggestions touch your heart, and help you make the decision to be a victor over the darkness by following the Light. His name is Jesus. May God Bless You!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Three Months Later
Everyday, I drive by a sign on my way to school which says, "Time lost is never found." This statement speaks the truth and it saddens my heart to think of the time I have lost, and I will never find it again.
I have lost the days in which I could have been writing words of encouragement, hope, and love. To write and share my work is a dream I long to fulfill, but one that seems as distant as the stars.
I pray the Spirit can inspire me to move and defeat the depression and despair I suffer on a monthly basis and have persevered through for nearly twenty years.
To continue the journey leading to my dream, I write this small amount and renew my commitment to never lose time again.
I have lost the days in which I could have been writing words of encouragement, hope, and love. To write and share my work is a dream I long to fulfill, but one that seems as distant as the stars.
I pray the Spirit can inspire me to move and defeat the depression and despair I suffer on a monthly basis and have persevered through for nearly twenty years.
To continue the journey leading to my dream, I write this small amount and renew my commitment to never lose time again.
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