Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Thank God I Am Weak

Saint Paul said, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." Without weakness, can one be strong? This is a question I answer with a hopeful, yes, because I believe that strength can only be found in weakness. Am I thankful for being weak? Unfortunately, I must work at being grateful for the weaknesses that ravage my body, mind, and spirit. I know these undesirable flaws will bring me strength, but this long process of falling and failing to grow in determination and perseverance is a painful and tedious one. Fortunately, this process is not a lone path; I can walk this trail of change with the one power who heals and transforms, and his name is Jesus the Christ. Seek and find true strength in Jesus. Visit and gain knowledge from these websites about Christianity.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

An Attitude of Gratitude

I teach this to my students. I teach this to my sons. I teach this to myself, yet I fail to always have an attitude of gratitude. After celebrating two months of joyful holidays with my family, such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays, I'm reminded that I need to be that joyful and grateful every day. And not just thankful for all the good things in my life, but for the bad as well.

Today, I will be thankful for my failures, my sufferings, and my pains. I will be thankful for my weaknesses and shortcomings. I will be thankful for my broken, difficult, and trying relationships. I will be thankful for all my Lord has given me and all He has not. I will be thankful for my life; this mysterious gift of my life and my place in His Kingdom.

Because I struggle with cycles of depression, to always be thankful is a difficult attitude to maintain. There are days when I struggle to find peace or joy in my life, and the result is an attitude of words and actions that are desperate and lifeless. My thoughts become dominated by negative, destructive self-talk. As a Christian, I know I have to take control of my thoughts, and the teachings of Jesus and His Apostles makes this clear.

Saint Paul writes in his letter to the Philippians in Chapter four, verses six and seven to "have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

These words give me hope in the mercy and love of God the Father because of His Son, Jesus. These words give me strength because I know the Spirit is with me, transforming my heart and mind. In response to the love God has shown me, I practice His Word every morning in one small way. It has made a difference in my attitude for the day, regardless of how sad I may be feeling.

Several years ago, I made the decision to say "Thank you, God, for this day," the instant my eyes open in the morning. Even if I feel tired, hopeless, or angry, thanking God every morning for the gift of another day is healing my heart and making a difference in my thinking for the rest of the day. It is better than any medicine doctors could prescibe or scientist could invent. It brings me hope in the midst of despair and inspiration in the midst of discouragement.

Having an attitude of gratitude and thanking God every day for another day on earth is a healing discipline. Now it's automatic; I immediately thank God for my day without even thinking. It has become a heart response, and that heart-felt gratitude has changed my life. It can change your life, too. Let us celebrate every day as a day of thanksgiving.

Does Proof Lead to Faith?

Jesus said to him, " 'If you can!' Everything is possible to one who has faith." Then the boy's father cried out, "I do believe, help my unbelief!" Mark 9:23-24

What kind of proof says that You exist?
What is it that people need to say "I believe?"
Is there logic and reason that explains You?
Can any human mind even conceive of You?

So many who believe will still argue and explain
giving logical reasons for Your Truth.
Even You would say to those who doubted,
You see my miracles and still do not believe.
So then, for many, proof is not enough.

Because it takes faith to love or not love.
It takes faith to believe or not believe.
It takes faith to know You are real;
To trust, to love, and to hope for a life,
a life beyond this life-a hope, a peace,
that goes beyond understanding and reason and logic.

Maybe I'm too simple a mind to want proof.
Proof that will be dismissed or ignored;
Proof that is an argument waiting to be explored,
and yet, all that can be done,
all we can do,
all we can understand is limited.

So, limited by our human minds,
that leaves just one thing,
one thing to help us, to tell us,
and to know that God is real...


Friday, November 12, 2010

Another Year of Motherhood

As my twin sons near their twentieth birthday on November 15th, 2010, prayer and contemplation of my years as a mother has dominated my waking hours.

I worry I wasn't a good enough mom, and I search, in my prayers and my heart, for the memories of when I was a godly mother. These are the memories of raising my sons that I hold deep in my heart; the times when I was prudent and wise and when I taught my sons the virtues of life.

Yet, I will always remember the many times when I taught my sons vices, times of selfishness and complacency in my choices. These are the times I regret, but I also will accept them with humility. Because of God's Word, I know I must be thankful for my failures and short-comings.

Prayers of thanksgiving have given me the understanding of the mercy I recieve and the mercy I give. Having a heart of gratitude gives me freedom from the regrets that cause bitterness and despair. I will not allow that to happen, and so I thank God everyday for my successes and failures as a mother, and I know He is always with me.

I think of my sons and prayer for them often throughout the day. They will always be the focus of my petition prayers, because they have been the center of my life for twenty years. This is the truth of motherhood; my life is divided into two parts, before my children were born and after my children were born.

I thank God for another year of motherhood.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

A Cause Worth Dying For

“I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then, that you and your descendents may live, by loving the Lord, your God, heeding his voice, and holding fast to him. For that will mean life for you…” Deuteronomy 30:19-20

It is my desire to help put an end to legalized abortion, one heart at a time. I am writing to all my sisters; to all the American women, young and old, who have been lied to about choice. I am writing to all the American men who love a woman dearly; a mother, a sister, a daughter, a wife, and care about the future of our families, our nation, and our world.

It is my passion to share the truth, the truth of life. It is my hope to touch your heart with my prose and poetry and to stir in you a desire to choose life. It is my love for each one of my American sisters and brothers which convicts me to risk everything to share this truth. The truth I have found in Jesus Christ, His Word, and His Church.

Read what I write with an open heart and open mind, and make your own decision, my friends. And know that you are loved no matter what you choose, but also know there is only one true choice, one choice of love and hope, one choice that gives life.

I can never say exactly how my lifelong search for love and truth has continually lead me to the amazing man named Jesus. Through Christ, I come to know the mercy and love of the Father, and I’m given the Spirit to guide me in truth, faith, and hope. I love life, even in my times of suffering and sorrow, so I will speak of life. And so, I must write. To reach the countless citizens of our country who have been fooled into believing we want the “freedom” to kill our children.

I wrote the following poem for my twin sons, and for all unborn babies. David and Dennis are an incredible gift from God and because I chose to give my sons life, they have given me life. God tells us the truth when he says the life we give our children will mean life for ourselves. Because of the choice I made, I am blessed with my children who are my joy, my peace, my hope. I pray all mothers and fathers may know this truth.


I feel my babies inside of me
Beneath my heart and completely free
Wanting so much to simply be

I am a part of this world.

But who am I to make this choice
To be the loudest and only voice
In my freedom to choose, I rejoice

I am a part of this world.

Sadly, others tell me it’s okay
To kill my child and walk away
And live to breathe another day

I am a part of this world.

But I also hear what the truth must be
As faithful friends try to help me see
When I feel my babies inside of me
I can’t stop their hearts because I’m free…

My babies are a part of this world!

Love in Christ,
April, 2001

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What Is There To Love?

I am a woman who suffers from monthly cycles of depression, only recently diagnosed as PMDD: Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. For about ten days nearly every month, I struggle with finding a positive attitude about relationships, work, and church. In fact, I often become despondent and full of despair, and I fail to find the good in life.

On these days, I hold onto the hope that the tears will end, the deep soulful sorrow, the desperate hopelessness, and the intense anger are symptoms of my condition, and they have no power over me. At least, that is what I must tell myself on the days when I can't help but feel these painful emotions.

After years of trying to treat my condition medically, with prescription drugs that did not work, and only seemed to worsen my symptoms, I decided to abandon the man-made solution and depend on God for my emotional comfort. With prayer, His Word, and His Sacraments, I find peace in the midst of my sorrow.

This past week, I have been suffering days of sadness and weeping. It is so deep and sorrowful, my heart and soul are in agony. Those who suffer depression understand the pain I describe. During these days, it is hard to get into His Word, but thankfully the Lord pursues me.

Yesterday, in my 7th grade religion class, a student asked me about a psalm reference which led me to scan through the book of psalms. My Lord captured my attention with the words, Prayer of One in Sorrow, Psalm 13.

It is a very short chapter, and I read the whole thing in seconds, soaking in His words of hope and truth. The last verse of the chapter filled my heart with gratitude and my mind with love. They say: ...Let my heart rejoice in your salvation; let me sing of the Lord, "He has been good to me." Psalm 13:6

When I read these words from my Creator, my heart is filled with joy to know He will always be there for me. My God leads me to a place of contentment so I can once again find a reason and purpose for this difficult life. God is always there, and He tells me the truth, I have so much to love in life, even when my feelings and thoughts try to tell me something different.

He is always speaking to me, loving me, consoling me, and strengthening me in so many ways, in prayer, His Church, and His Word. He helps me focus on what is true and lovely. When I read His Word, I am filled with hope and a true sense of purpose, no matter what my heart may feel or my mind may think, I am loved by my God, and that is something worth living for.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Eyes of Love

The following music video is a song by Brandon Heath which sings of our mission as Christ's disciples, to love like God.

May we, as disciples of Christ, love a little more this day, show mercy to those who hurt us, and have hope in the goodness of humanity. May we be known to everyone as followers of Jesus because of the love we have for one another.

God Bless, and Merry Christmas!