After the Sorrow, Comes Joy

From Proverbs 14:13, God says, "Even in laughter the heart may be sad, and the end of joy may be sorrow." God led me to this verse one night several years ago when I was overwhelmed by another cycle of sadness, which were, and still are marked days of depression I suffer each month because of PMS. As I read God's Word that night, my heart full of painful sorrow, bitter tears I had just wept, He spoke to me. He told me joy is not a constant on this earth. I cannot always be happy, and there will be times, when in my sorrow, I still must laugh. I must save my tears of sadness for private time with Him.

As a teacher, this revelation was life changing. My depression would sometimes devastate me to the point of where I couldn't even move, but I had to get up and teach, it was my job and my calling. I wanted to find joy in teaching my students, regardless of how I felt. But there were days when I would cry in class, and it was difficult for my precious students to endure. I didn't want to burden anyone with my sadness and other emotional issues (anger, anxiety, and paranoia are also symptoms of PMS and can be a problem in maintaining healthy relationships), so I searched for a cure. I tried in vain countless medical treatments, which often made my symptoms worse.

Then, about four years ago, God spoke to me through His Word. He said, "Even in laughter the heart may be sad, and the end of joy may be sorrow." He spoke these words to me as an encouragement, and they have hung on my mirror ever since. He reminds me every day that my sadness is okay because it is the result of our human condition. When I'm sad and I weep without reason, God gives my tears purpose. Now, I weep in the presence of my Father alone, and He gives me the strength to laugh with others, even though my heart may be sad.

In the moment of sorrow, I am lost in a pit of darkness and all I can do is call out to Him and ask why?! He answers me and tells me my tears are for a reason. So I weep, an all physical and soulful sobbing for the unborn children who won't be born. I cry for my sons, my stepdaughter, my nieces and nephews, my students and all the pain and suffering our children must endure in this world. I cry for the poor, the sick and the dying. God tells me to cry because of the pain others must suffer and He gives my tears meaning. And truly, God does gather all my tears and turns them into dancing. Because after the sorrow, comes joy.

Laughter in My Sorrow
Written by Kristin Ball & Nashville Song Service

Verse
When I open my eyes
There’s someone I see
My God in the stars
Who created me
Nudging me out
For another day
Of facing this world
So dark and gray.

Chorus
Even when I laugh
My heart may be sad
And the end of my joy
Is sorrow
Yet I know Your Truth
That the sadness
Will end
And Your joy will return
Tomorrow

Verse
Each day a journey
That leads me home
Where perfect joy
And love are found
You save me, Lord
You’re Love I proclaim
You’re the Door
In Your arms I remain.

Bridge
I pray so
I can simply be
Free from this sadness
That crushes me
Without You, Dear Jesus
I could never be
One with my God
Who wants me.