Life, Death, and What's Real

Life seems so trival in our society, and this truth is not any different than it was in the past. History has proven that human beings disregard the life of human beings. Because we fear death so much, we try to control it, we try to make it our choice. But we have no choice, death on this earth is inevitable. This reality has driven me to find a way to accept death as something more than just death, more than just the end of life on earth. Instead, I have come to believe, through the Good News of Jesus Christ, death is the the birth of a new life. In my search for the desire of my heart, I found Jesus to be the Resurrection, the way to life, the truth who lives.

Born as a Catholic, and still a devoted practicing Catholic who loves the tradition, the sacraments, Mary and the Pope, I believe Jesus is Real Life. Even though my faith has been an intricate part of my life since I was born, I have often struggled with the Mystery of the Trinity. Always seeking answers to who God is by reading His Word, looking for proof in verses such as Genesis 1:24, where God says, "Let us make man in our image..." The italics emphasize the proof I found from God's own Word. Many years ago, this verse was proof to me, and still is, Jesus and the Spirit have always been with the Father from the beginning of creation. 

But, with my relentless searching for proof that Jesus is true, proof of who He is, and what He did, I often failed to trust Him with all my heart, mind and soul. Finally, last summer, I let go completely and gave everything to Jesus. And I discovered something truly amazing, freedom.  I discovered freedom from my sins in a way I've never experienced before, freedom from my fears, freedom from guilt and shame.  Jesus came into my heart and showed me exactly how real He is.  He is life, He is Love, and for just over a year now, I have come to love life in a new way. I love life because Jesus has shown me love for myself, and love for others.

I believe in the power of God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  I believe in His power to destroy my demons, my sins, my blackness that have often pushed me to hate life and to desire an end to all the pain and suffering. I choose to follow Him daily, I choose Real Life. He gives me hope for life everlasting, and because I seek Him in prayer, Mass, the Eucharist, His Word, nature, and always with my husband and sons and others in my life, I have come to love life intensely. 

So often throughout my life, living would seem intolerable, and death a welcome end. But I know I must trust God and accept His Perfect Plan. He, alone, decides when to bring me home, and for now, I must learn to love my life, in spite of all the pain and suffering He asks me to endure. This journey is building me, transforming me into a perfect soul. I look forward to the day when I can live forever in unity with the Father, Son, Spirit and with the Saints of His Church. I look forward to the day when life is real, true, and perfect. Thank God for Life!

Real Life

I stand for life
but must live to embrace the truth of human death.

I search for love

but must live to love those who hate until my last breath.
I look for justice
but must live in faith that He holds righteousness in His hand.
I long for God
but must live out His plan in this painfully selfish land.

With Love,
Kristin A. Ball
February 8, 2001